Tag Archives: Lesley

7 lbs to Vegas

That’s a pretty straight forward goal and completely doable. As I see people planning their Vegas vacations, I’m getting in gear. I’ve been on a roll health wise and now that it is sometimes only -3 here in Montreal I’m even more motivated to get in shape.

Also now that it is starting to warm up I’m getting out of the house more, in the daylight. Today I went to see Kingsman, there is something amazing about going to the movies in the middle of the day. We walked in and no one checks your tickets, no line up for the snack bar and no one kicking your seat because there is only 4 people in the theater. It is like they just opened the theater for me.

Sunday, I went to Cabane Panache et Bois Nord. If it is one thing they have right here in Montreal, it is the street festivals.

This year is the first year I’ve been away from my family for Christmas and Easter and to be honest, I’m a tad homesick, but I’m looking forward to seeing them this summer. I’ll be visiting some family and friends in Toronto the last week of May, then off to my favorite place.

Last year I had to skip Vegas for unforeseen circumstances, otherwise known as, I did my own laundry, emptying pockets is for suckers. This year I will be treating my passport like… a passport. Because of my lack of Vegas last year I’m going to have to make my trip count by staying a whole month!

I don’t think I’ve gone to Vegas once without doing something incredibly stupid, so here’s to Vegas!

Oh, how I failed, but succeeded at the same time.

I’ve never been the type of person that spent a long time looking in the mirror. In fact, I pretty much avoided it as much as I can.

In 2010 I was incredibly thin. Thin does not always equal healthy and I wasn’t healthy. My anxiety and depression had made me stop eating for days at a time and I was also constantly sick to my stomach. During this time period I was unable to look in the mirror, so I didn’t even know how thin I was.

When I final tabled the Ladies event in 2012, I remember watching an interview of myself and thinking, that isn’t me. They had to of stretched me. Not long after I was at a wedding and I saw another photo that I didn’t recognize myself in. I couldn’t believe how much weight I had gained. At this point I missed my old workout buddy Tina and my old trainer.

It happens to all of us… We wake up one morning and step on the scale. We look down and our stomach turns. We hit our peak weight. We talk to our closest friends and admit the hard truth, have never weighed this much in our lives. Not sure how it even happened.

I’ve lost over 20lbs since moving to Montreal, I’ve changed my lifestyle completely. My favorite food was Pizza, now it is crab stuffed zucchini.  I use to be able to do 2 dozen shots and be “Everyone Loves Drunk Lesley”. Now I have one drink and am “Everyone Loves a Cheaper Drunk Lesley.” It has taken me until 32 years of age to truly see myself when I look in the mirror, but I can now. It isn’t just about losing the weight I gained, it is way more than that. I’ve forgiven myself for failing.

A few months ago I had a slight breakdown. I had taken a test that was to pinpoint my strengths. My results were in a transition stage.  I have spent so much of my life trying to make the people around me happy that it was impossible for me to be. I had made that mistake before and I was doing it again and again. This test was a wake up call for me.  I still had it in my head that who I use to be, was who I needed to get back to being. That didn’t work for me the first time, so why was I putting so much pressure on myself to be her again?

So how are my posted goals for the year going… supernova with $100 bankroll—FAIL. I busted that $100, Be more social—Double FAIL, I’ve only gone out about 2 or 3 times this year. What I didn’t fail at were the important ones. I’ve been eating healthy, following a workout plan and working on my fears. I’m still working on PLO, and have a few coaching sessions to help put me back on the right track. As for going out more and being more social, I can’t really answer why I want that. It is just one of those things that I feel I am weird because I don’t want to. What I do want to do is spend time on my projects that I had put on hold, so that is what I’m going to do.

Finally, back to my true love. Poker… WPT is back in Montreal, April, so I’ll be hitting up Playground to play one or two side events. I’m also setting up my Vegas trip for June. And for the love of the poker gods, please let me not lose 39bbs per 100 in the next 20000 PLO hands.

Can I build a bankroll from $100 and make Supernova?

In my last blog I told you that my goal this year is to make Supernova.

For those that don’t know. That is about 18k in rake. Jan 1st I started this journey with $100 at the second smallest stake. 5PLO following the bankroll management that is posted on donkr PLO From Scratch

So, that makes me stuck at 5PLO until I have a bankroll of $350. I’m also going to include the bonuses I hit and any $ I win playing the VIP Freerolls in my bankroll.

This week went OK. It did start off strong but ended poorly. I didn’t review any hands this week. Next week I am scheduling in 1 hour a day to review my hands.

firstweek

I have a lot that I am working on right now and I am feel pretty motivated. I’m hoping this is going to be my best year yet!

Everything You Do Can Lead To Something New.

The other day I took my first trampoline fitness class at Rebound Fitness. I was a little early and walked into this big loft building looking extremely lost. As I stared at the building directory trying to figure out where I was suppose to be a man stopped and asked me if I what company I was looking for. When I told him he told me that he showed me where my class was and told me that he was the owner of H2O MMA and they have a kickboxing class that I might be interested in and should come for the free session.

I actually did take one class about a year ago, but the pace was way too fast and I was extremely intimidated as most of the class was filled with guys that use that class as a part of their routine. I told him I would still come and check it out after my class.

The trampoline class was amazing. If you have ever taken a Power class before that is what this was but with a mix of the trampoline for added cardio. I was pretty nasty sweaty by the end of the class and still committed myself to skipping the bus and taking that 30 minute walking home. On the way out of class I went down and peeked in the H2O MMA gym. This place looked amazing. I wrote down the website.

On my walk home it got dark really fast. I had to cross train tracks that I don’t even remember crossing on my way to the class. I walked up to the flashing red lights and waited for the train to finish crossing. It seemed like an hour, I started to feel a little nervous as it hit me that I probably shouldn’t have been walking home that late at night alone.

When I got home, I took a look at the website.

“Women’s Only Kickboxing Bootcamp workouts are the best around at H2O Gym Montreal. Whether you want to learn self-defense, lose weight, improve cardio & fitness, or just sculpt your body, this class will do it for you. This is a safe, friendly, non-competitive class, designed for beginners, where learning and supporting each others goals is always #1.”

Add another class to my schedule. I am sold! Not only am I sold I am really excited about this class.

Had I not signed up for that trampoline class, I would have never come across the kickboxing class. Who knows what that kickboxing class will lead me to. Worst case I wasted an hour on something I don’t like or I make new friends, lose some weight while learning how to protect myself. After that, my new kickboxing class could lead to something else… Maybe Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu?

Most Roller Coasters Go Down Before They Even Out.

When you get on a roller coaster you put your hands up in the air and scream as the coaster drops down the steep hills at lightning speed. Logically, when you think about it, you stand in line, watch the roller coaster go by you 10 times before it is your turn. You don’t scream because you are scared, you know what is going to happen, you scream because that is considered a normal reaction and you are told that you should feel scared because everyone in front of you felt that way.

The last few weeks I felt numb, alone and misunderstood. The hardest part about feeling this way is seeing and talking to people. I know that people can’t tell how I feel by looking at me. The truth is my eyes give it away, the shade of blue is more prominent, the glaze from covering up feelings. I receive the most compliments on my eyes when I am actually at my worst. I once recall guy working at Starbucks almost dropping my coffee while telling me how beautiful my eyes were. I don’t even like coffee nor normally drink it. I just ordered it because that is what everyone else does and I needed something to make me feel normal.

This isn’t the worst I’ve felt, but I do remember the last time I felt this way.  It was during my first trip to Vegas. During that roller coaster I ended up spending 1k on face products. Sure the ingredients did included gold. I don’t normally use most of those products, but I’m told I should be that it is normal for women my age to spend money on face products that help keep me looking young.

I felt horrible the last few weeks, but still tried to keep some kind of routine. I have been getting to bed by 2 am where normally I am up until 3 or 4 am. I’ve gone for my walks and done my workout routine. I went to the movies and over to friends’ houses. Really just tried to continue doing the things that are said to help make me feel normal. Then finally it happened. Last night I spent hours searching the web for things to keep me busy. When I was on antidepressants, I would wake up with a high feeling. It felt like my brain waves were trying to get back in order.  Today I woke up with that same feeling so I’m hoping this roller coaster ride is coming to an end, instead of taking another lap. The first thing I did was register for a lot of the things I looked up last night. Why? Because when I was a child that was what was normal to me, an activity just about every night that help me develop into the individual I am today.  Why as adults do we stop developing and just follow routine?

What is on the list this month of things I’m doing to keep myself busy and work on staying fit

Toning Trampoline Class at Rebound Fitness

Then indulge by taking a class where you will learn to make the most amazing truffles that you will lose all want to eat any other chocolate. 

Chocolate Truffle Making at Saveurs Cao

Once a week isn’t enough to keep your heart rate going. I use to do this once a week as part of my workout routine back in 2010. This is actually one of the most fulfilling and hardest workouts anyone can do. 

Pole Fit at Alternative Fitness

I just want to be able to make a cake that I don’t frost it with a butter knife. 

Cake Decorating at Micheals

This blog wouldn’t be fitting if I didn’t plan to include a trip to La Ronde

And I am still working on learning PLO. More studying than playing while my mind is trying to level out. 

I know I am going to get a few friends messaging me asking me why I didn’t call or reach out. When you can’t explain why you feel the way you do and when you know you are better off than majority of people in the world.  You live the life you wanted. What is there to ask for help about? 

Social anxiety and social media contests

The last few weeks a lot of people haven’t heard much from me. Mostly because I qualified for a chance of a lifetime. The chance to be Andre Akkari’s Protege. If I am picked as his protege I would win private training from him, tickets into 3 wcoop events including the main event. Plus, the protege that makes the most money playing those tickets will win a PCA package.

Step 1 – Come in the top two of his qualifier MTTs

Step 2 – Create a video as to why he should pick you.

Now, this is way out of my comfort zone. Over the last two weeks I have debated not doing the video. Mostly because my anxiety. As silly as it sounds. I don’t really like people seeing me, rather the thought of being judged, I guess. So why did I torture myself to finish the video and upload it. Simple, the opportunity is too good to not try and my fear is illogical.

It isn’t winning or losing because I’ve already won.

I’ve already conquered one of my biggest fears. Will I be doing video blogs anytime soon. Hell no, but just a few months ago someone asked me to do a video endorsement for them and I had to say no. The thought of being seen made me feel sick. Only time will tell how I feel once people actually watch the video.

Another win was because I was working on this video I learned a new program, after effects. I could have paid someone about $15 an hour to help me using a freelancer site, it would have looked much better but I wouldn’t have done it myself.

The rest is up to André and Pokerstars if I make it to the next step.

Here is the sneak preview.